Violence against children is a serious issue that requires attention from us all. Family issues and parenting are major challenges for parents. With the rapid advancement of technology, parenting within the family has become its own challenge. Approximately 171 million internet users, or 8.9 percent, pose a high threat of cyber crime in Indonesia.
The Rumah Impian Indonesia Foundation held a Parents Empowering Seminar themed “Protecting Children from Physical Violence” on Saturday, May 18, 2024, at Den Nany Resto, Taman Siswa, Yogyakarta. This seminar is the first in a series of similar seminars to be held until the end of 2024.
Ambar Tri Anggara Putro from the Indonesian Independent Child Secretariat Foundation (Samin) was a speaker at the seminar. The participants were families supported by the Rumah Impian Indonesia Foundation from five villages in the Yogyakarta Special Region: Jogoyudan, Tukangan, Sidomulyo, Tlukan, and Wonocatur.
In his presentation, Tri Ambar expressed his appreciation to the Rumah Impian Indonesia Foundation for its commitment to campaigning for the protection and fulfillment of Indonesian children’s rights. “Jogja should be grateful to Rumah Impian Indonesia for ensuring the government’s programs continue,” he emphasized.
The Rumah Impian Indonesia Foundation notes that the role of parents and their parenting styles are crucial. Authoritarian parenting styles disregard the opinions and desires of children, which can lead to children not being accustomed to making decisions and being afraid to express their opinions. “Unfortunately, authoritarian parents do not care about their children’s opinions and desires,” Tri said.
The most serious impact of authoritarian parenting is that children experience pressure, affecting their emotional development. Children have the right to live and grow. Authoritarian characteristics tend to be rigid, assertive, always believing they are right, and impose punishment if rules or the parents’ desires are not met.
Tri believes that parenting should serve as a model for children. Parents must demonstrate good behavior and avoid physical or verbal violence. If parents frequently use violence, children will consider it normal. “Parents, as products of the past, play a significant role in shaping children’s character,” he stressed.
The opposite of authoritarian parenting is permissive parenting, which, according to Tri, makes children act aggressively when their desires are not fulfilled. Although children raised permissively get what they want, in the long run, they become undisciplined. “Children raised in this manner tend to violate rules because they cannot control their behavior, which negatively impacts themselves.”
There is also neglectful parenting, where parents let children develop on their own. Parents only meet basic needs like food, shelter, and clothing, while psychological and emotional needs go unmet. Parents are indifferent to their children, leaving them to be ‘raised’ by gadgets, TV, or video games.
In such neglectful parenting, parents usually do not set clear boundaries, do not pay attention to their children’s needs, and are reluctant to get involved in their lives. As a result, children realize they are not important to their parents and tend to become individualistic. Children raised with neglectful parenting often lack self-confidence, have uncontrolled emotions, and struggle to form relationships and communicate.
The recommended parenting style is democratic parenting, which gives children the freedom to choose and act. Parents approach their children warmly and maintain two-way communication, being nurturing and supportive. “Children raised this way tend to be more mature, independent, cheerful, self-controlled, achievement-oriented, and capable of handling stress well,” Tri explained.
Tri concluded that these different parenting styles can shed light on how parenting impacts child violence. He emphasized that parents must play an active role in preventing physical and verbal violence by improving family nurturing.
Yosua Lapudooh, Chairman of the Rumah Impian Indonesia Foundation, echoed these sentiments. He stated that active parental involvement is crucial in preventing physical and verbal violence to improve the quality of parenting in families. “We hope that with this seminar, parents will actively participate in preventing physical and verbal violence,” Yosua concluded.